The often forgotten elements of beauty and sexual attraction.

What if we were to say that the most powerful, charming and magnetic traits of beauty were not based on external appearance but in fact based on traits that were in our every control?

Decorating our physical property whether it be our skin, body, house, car, facebook page and or workplace have all been part of developing symbolism around ourselves and what we represent to the outside world. In a way similar to how a bowerbird might look for attractive things to decorate their home to attract the opposite sex, humans seem to edit their external appearance in more elaborate ways. In the African Zulu tribes the leopard is considered as the king of predators and only those of an elevated social position wear its skin. Humans have found numerous ways to give the impression that only people of certain social status are able to wear certain external decorations.

The greater importance we place on these physical external things the more money companies are able to make from selling them to us which is a direct conflict of interest. The more socially important or sexually advantageous it appears to have the new watch, car, phone, laptop, piece of jewellery or brand the better it is for the companies selling them.

Thankfully, beauty is actually within each and everyones reach. It is a multi-dimensional element of the human character and has much more to do with the actions we take and the stories people tell about us than the clothes or external things we externally identify ourselves with. The reason we don’t hear about these more often is that companies cannot make money from us displaying them!

So as a breathe of fresh air, i’ve compiled a short list of the often forgotten elements of beauty and sexual attraction (some of these are only for men, others only for women)

Trustworthiness & Being Faithful – Are you a trusted individual? Are you a man or woman of your word? Do people trust you? It is of genetic advantage to have a partner that can be trusted. The more we show others we can be trusted the more we appear as potential lovers.

Social Status – How do your peers speak about you behind your back? How many people call you on your birthday? How many others do you call on their birthday? Having an established social position is a form of security for both men and women. We are social creatures and trying to deny our innate understanding of social status would be rather inconsiderate of our long lasting heritage. We are attuned to knowing more or less where individuals stand within the tribal social ladder. Elevation of position comes from human value given to others in the tribe. Are you an individual who acts a part of a tribe? Or are you an individual who acts in pure self interest? Understanding social status and how to move within it can change our external world of attraction quickly.

Ability to provide resources – like all tribesmen and women we need to find a way to survive in this world and be able to provide a future for our children. A man or woman’s ability to provide resources is certainly an element both sexes consider before investing further in the relationship. This is not to say that love cannot overpower this element. It is only that it’s a fundamental element women and men consider.

Vision for the future, ability to achieve goals – Are you able to paint a picture of the future and then achieve what you painted for others? Ability to turn future projections into realities is something potential partners find attractive in the form of stability and ability to provide for the future. It also builds towards trustworthiness as each time someone delivers on a promise made, a portion of trust is built in the minds of others involved.

Intelligence – The word intelligence seems to have been disproportionally used for academic intelligence but i’d like to expand in saying that intelligence has a far greater spectrum than that of a unit outline. Ability to think out side of the box, emotional intelligence, common sense, wit and resourcefulness are also equally valid elements of intelligence that the opposite sex is sensitive to understanding and feeling attracted to. This can be linked back to ability to survive, express love and provide for others.

Confidence & knowledge of self – Do you understand your unique gifts and abilities? Have you found a way to express them in your daily existence? Having a strong understanding of self generally leads to having a strong level of internal confidence. Do you play the guitar because you love the way it makes you feel? Or are you still unsure of what to do with your time on the weekend? Having a clear understanding of self and being naturally confident is attractive.

Positive attitude – Women and men are looking to be around a partner who can help bring them up when they’re feeling down. Having a positive frame of reference is an attractive feature that provides light into the darkness of the longer years of companionship. Someone to laugh with is a characteristic people subconsciously and or consciously find as attractive.

Protection of others & leadership – Women find it comforting to be in the presence of a man who can lead without overly dominating or intimidating others. Women are searching for a form of protection and your ability to lead others through uncertainty whilst staying calm are elements that connect to women’s tribal understanding of protection and survival.

Good Health & Self Care – It is in our genetic advantage to be partnered with partners with good strong health, having clean teeth, being well groomed and fit all help with the optimal presentation and maintenance of our beauty.

These are just a few of the humanistic traits we can learn, develop and express daily. We do not need to be ‘physically beautiful’ to express them but through the expression of these traits we will appear more ‘beautiful’ to the opposite sex. I’d love to hear your feedback on these traits…can you think of any others?


BYO-fabric copy

4 thoughts on “The often forgotten elements of beauty and sexual attraction.

  1. I would agree with all except “Protection of others and leadership”. I would prefer to be an equal on the ‘we’ team. We can be good at anything but not good at everything. My partner would be the light to my dark, the Yin to my Yang, the toast to my Vegemite.

    Oh A Perfect World!

    • Sure Kate, I certainly agree with the Ying Yang balance in relationships. I guess what I was leaning towards with this point was that I feel potential partners find it attractive to see that the other is able to step up and protect and potentially lead others into safety more than pure self preservation when the time calls for it.

      Within the relationship however, yes both partners can protect each other in certain way’s. I agree! Cheers.

  2. I love your post! BUT I indeed have to add one more: Being vegan. Applying through their everyday actions the values of veganism. Meeting someone who is vegan directly makes me understand how sensitive that person is towards all living beings. And what a hard fight he is giving…

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