Instead of sticking to the predictable tightrope of life, I’ve jumped off the rope and run into the unknown. Often I can’t see further ahead of me than a few weeks, days or sometimes seconds and It scares me to think how far into the darkness I’ve come. Sometimes when I stop I look back I can’t even see the tightrope anymore. I’ve distanced myself from predictability in a way and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to find it again. Then I think, do I even want to find it again?
Sometimes while I’m out here I feel like I’m completely alone, lost at sea without a clear map of anything to guide me. Have I been running in the right direction or am I just lying to myself and drifting further from reality? When I start to doubt myself the people who care and watch over pick me up again. My angels, my mentors, my family and my friends. These are who have kept me on my feet whilst running into the darkness, without them I’d be totally lost or still doing what everyone else expected.
From the start of the year to the very end new colours, sounds, people, distractions, ideas, experiences, emotions, fears and victories have flooded into my mind at an unstoppable rate. Amongst the whirlwind of new experiences I’ve managed to navigate myself in a direction that has certainly taken me closer to living the life I love. I still have a long way to go but with each step I take the clearer my path becomes. I feel empowered by the number of new steps i’ve taken this year and look forward to the thousands more to come.
Bring on 2013!