We are often so busy running our own lives we seldom step back to absorb the mental map of another fellow woman or man. We keep running in our own direction, assuming each and everyone else operates on the same version of human windows we are accustomed to. But the world isn’t like that, the world is built apon billions of perspectives and without remembering and preparing for this fact we can frequently find ourselves lost in translation.
So what is human syncing? I like to look at it like plugging into another humans operating system, then calibrating our own to produce a language they can relate to and trust. If we are communicating our language (the sum total of our communicative life influences) and the other person is coming from another perspective it’s important to know how to sync. I don’t mean this in the literal language sense, I mean this in a mood, body language, phrases, pace, tonalities & natural priorities sense. Without making the first move to understand the other person’s OS, they will most probably continue to operate in their same state of mind. When we take a step in their direction, they are reminded to take a step in our direction. We must lead by example if we are seeking cooperation.
We can sync by finding common ground and understanding on similar issues like; mood; if they are feeling tired it’s best to be sensitive to that by appearing equally tired then slowly bringing them up sentence by sentence. Coming in with guns blazing shouting at the top of our lungs is instantly going to set us apart. Mirroring body language is a simple yet subconscious signal to the other person that we agree and trust the words that they say, they will find comfort in this. Listening to the adjectives and slang they frequently use to describe things in conversation (naawwyeaahh?, kickass, smashing, etc) then using them in our own conversation aligns subconscious signals with the other person with the “he/she’s one of us” mentality. Be careful with this one as some people pride the words and use them as apart of their ‘unique’ personality and if we duplicate too many of them they will start to think we are copying them.
Assessing the environment and speaking with the person face to face will be a big help indicator as to what their priorities in that moment are. Is it a manager appearing in front of staff? Is it a mother in front of her children? Is it a backpacker who’s lost? Understanding the other persons current priorities is key for cutting straight to the heart of their attention. We are not blabbering on about irrelevant get to know you sort of stuff, we have assessed the situation and are now communicating on a subject they are most interested in. It’s like authentically complementing a mother on her baby, she’s going to love us saying something because it’s a major priority in her life. The same subjects exist for people without children it’s just they are a little less obvious. The list of points to reflect and connect are endless, we just need to be sensitive on picking up on them.
Taking the time to sync with the humans we interact with from their perspective is an essential element of effective cooperation and communication. Once we have a firm grip of the other persons operating system, we can communicate in an effective way that they will want to listen to.